In my work as a therapist, I often encounter individuals who find themselves in relationships with adults displaying behaviors of children. If you've ever been in a situation with a partner or colleague who seems emotionally immature, you’re not alone. Let’s talk about why this happens and how it can be addressed.
The roots of child-like behavior in adults can often be traced back to their formative years. Several factors contribute to this behavior:
First comes unmet childhood needs. When, as children, our emotional needs weren’t adequately met, we may struggle to develop healthy coping mechanisms. Consequently, we often seek comfort or validation from others rather than addressing our own feelings independently.
Secondly, it could be due to trauma we experienced as kids. Many traumatic experiences can stop our emotional growth, leaving us almost "frozen" at a certain developmental stage. If this happens in moments of stress, we may revert to child-like responses, seeking reassurance in ways that can be burdensome for those around us.
Sometimes, childish behavior is supported in our environment. It may have been the only time we received love as kids, leading us to be encouraged to stay small and to be mama's boy or daddy's girl.
When we are in a relationship or working closely with someone who exhibits these tendencies, it can be really frustrating. We might find ourselves feeling overwhelmed by their emotional outbursts or their inability to take responsibility for their actions. Adults stuck in these patterns may rely heavily on their partners, colleagues, friends, and even children to handle life’s challenges. This dependency can create imbalanced relationships where one party feels drained and the other feels misunderstood and unsupported.
When we recognize that these behaviors often come from unresolved issues, it can help us approach the situation with empathy while setting necessary boundaries.
Therapy, particularly methods like inner child work and regression therapy, can effectively address the root causes of these behaviors. It encourages self-reflection, helping individuals understand their emotional responses and fostering personal growth. In therapy, we can learn new skills that empower us to handle stress and relationships in healthier ways, leading to more balanced interactions. We may also discover that this role serves us in some way, and although we have the capacity to change, it might be difficult to step out of it.
As part of the process, we learn how to meet our own emotional needs. This shift can alleviate pressure on our relationships and create healthier dynamics within our families.
Navigating relationships with adults who struggle with child-like behavior can be challenging, but understanding the underlying issues is key. By doing so, we can also avoid inadvertently supporting these behaviors.
If you find yourself facing these challenges, know that support is available and that change is always possible.
.png)
